US tips on 'zombie apocalypse'

[Gad]

Thank heavens the World ends today, I don`t think I could see the funny side of a Zombie apocalypse

Sources msnnine... io9.com/5148637/10-tips-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse

US tips on 'zombie apocalypse'

With rumours swirling in conspiratorial corners that the end of the world is nigh, the US government this week posted some online counsel on how to be prepared in case of a zombie apocalypse.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example," said an official blog post by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan on the Centres for Disease Control website.

"You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency," says the blog.

The post makes no reference to fervent allegations by some preachers that the world will end on Saturday May 21.

It does however point to numerous examples of "the rise of zombies in pop culture... (giving) credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen."

The blog points readers to emergency preparedness tips that the CDC has long advocated, such as having an emergency kit at one's home containing water, food and supplies "to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp," it says.

Knowing an evacuation route, having a designated meeting place with family and a list of emergency contacts are also high on the list.

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.

This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals:

determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.

Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas….

Not sure what to do when the zombie apocalypse strikes? The Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad tells how to survive your next encounter with the walking dead.

1. Clear the Room: A team of four armed shooters can easily clear a room if they all stand against the nearest wall: one body in each corner and two in the middle. This position proves optimal for quickly dispatching of a room full of the reanimated.

2. Three live humans can stand with their backs together and carefully rotate through the room, ensuring that all eyes are facing outward and no one falls victim to a surprise attack.

3. For those lucky enough to amass a relatively large army of live humans, the Fine Line is the best way to fend off roving zombie hordes. Simply form two lines of armed persons, one line in front of the other. Have the front line shoot while the back line holds. When the front line runs out of ammo, the back line steps in while the front line reloads. Tragically, the Squad's training zombie, Billy the Hunter, died while the Squad demonstrated this technique.

4. It's bad enough that you have to deal with the zombified masses, who are tireless, feel no pain, and greatly outnumber healthy human beings. But perhaps even more deadly are the humans who simply can't cope with the new world order, keep a psychologist on hand who can identify and subdue such persons before they embark on a murderous rampage that makes the zombies look as ferocious as fluffy kittens.

5. Not all weapons work for all people, and the trendiest zombie-fighting armaments aren't always the best. When in doubt, melee weapons are a fine tool against the undead, but think twice before picking up that giant hammer. As satisfying as squishing zombie skull may be, swinging the hammer creates a sizable arc that gives zombies plenty of time to nibble at your armpits.

Advise is that you invest in a machete, which is cheap, lightweight, and neatly separates a zombie's head from its bodies. As for ranged weapons, you may want to reconsider that sawed-off shotgun you're so fond of. Bolt action rifles are both powerful and accurate, without the ammunition restrictions of the close-range shotgun.

6. Zombies have a nasty habit of crashing through glass windows, so it's best to choose a hideout with as few ground level windows as possible. If you find yourself trapped in your house, it's best to hightail it up to the attic, which the uncoordinated zombies will have trouble reaching. Basements, even windowless ones, spell trouble.

7. If you're traveling with a group, you may consider fleeing by minivan or SUV, but be warned that the gas mileage and rollover rates might be a literal killer. If you're traveling alone, it's best to take a high miles per gallon vehicle, like a dirt bike, or, better yet, grab a bicycle and escape the zombies under your own replenishable power.

8. Using dynamite around the undead is a tricky proposition; the right amount of explosives can blow them to bits, but you might get cremated yourself. It's better to stave off those desiccated corpse with a controlled burn. Demolition experts warn, make sure it's a fire you can contain. A raging wildfire could prove far more deadly than the zombies themselves.

9. Animals can be invaluable allies at the end of the world, but the zombie infection could render them more hazard than help. If the zombie plague is viral, it can infect any living cells, causing even the most inhuman animals to exhibit flesh-craving symptoms. Would you rather fight off a zombie human — or a zombie lion?

10. Perhaps the best way to prepare for the day the dead rise from their graves is to assemble the perfect zombie-fighting attire. Avoid brain spray-back by wearing goggles and covering your face with a non-porous material. Use plate mail or leather to create a bite-proof body suit. Kevlar gloves (provided to some food industry workers) can be worn as is or refashioned into impenetrable sleeves, allowing you to fend off zombie bites by holding up your forearms. Riot shields also add an extra layer of protection and make the zombie head squishing that much easier.

[Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad]

[Little Grey Men]

Damn zombies, I hate em.

[sweresy]

i'm ready, have been for years

[adambris]

well im ready, bring em on !!!!!!!!!!!

[ryanyoung]

Just bought three bus-loads back from Wide Bay Training Area ha ha ha!! It seems these young fellas can't handle a bit of sleep dep!!!

Other than that, I have a bag full of Mizuno MP-37 Blades that rarely get used, so yep, I'm ready too lol.

[adambris]

i did notice a lack of ryan posts lately, so thats where you've been, training zombie hunters!

[ryanyoung]

i did notice a lack of ryan posts lately, so thats where you've been, training zombie hunters!

Ha ha.....Yep, and these ones are pretty tooled up too, with recent practice in 66mm and 84mm rocket launchers, .50 cal MG, 40mm Grenade launcher amongst other things....let the good times roll.

[tomca]

i did notice a lack of ryan posts lately, so thats where you've been, training zombie hunters!

Ha ha.....Yep, and these ones are pretty tooled up too, with recent practice in 66mm and 84mm rocket launchers, .50 cal MG, 40mm Grenade launcher amongst other things....let the good times roll.

with all that gear you might even be able to land more than 2 bass on our next outing :whistle:

[adambris]

i did notice a lack of ryan posts lately, so thats where you've been, training zombie hunters!

Ha ha.....Yep, and these ones are pretty tooled up too, with recent practice in 66mm and 84mm rocket launchers, .50 cal MG, 40mm Grenade launcher amongst other things....let the good times roll.

with all that gear you might even be able to land more than 2 bass on our next outing :whistle:

BAM!!!

[faulked]

ive been working on my cardio as apparently the fatties get eaten first

[dassa]

Zombies in a america what are they talking about the place is full of them already. :evil: :evil: